Day Numero Deuce

Day two with the magical head shrinker went just as well as day number one. We got rid of a lot of the getting to know you stuff and some of the other formalities that they are legally oblige to go through with you the first day, and therefor got right down to business.

We started off by following up on a few of the items that we had discussed during the previous chit chat and how the past couple weeks had been going. In general, being a little more on top of what is going on during all my interactions actually makes them all considerably more enjoyable. Who would have thought:)

One of the key concepts that have been brought to the forefront during both my sessions here, as well as the few days at the BOS Program, is to be present as much as possible. “Being present” is definitely the most challenging for me, but I feel has a huge return on investment when you start to be more cognizant of it. Sometimes wish it was as easy as putting a bow on your head and waiting for someone to tear your clothes off. But like they say, nothing in life worth doing is ever easy, and the sooner you get that sorted in your head the better off you will be. There have been a few suggestions that have been slid across the table my way to help with this such as a couple breathing techniques and some things you can do with your body to make sure you are in the now. Now, before rolling your eyes, I would suggest that you get in touch with someone, or hell google, and give it a try. A minute or two, hear and there goes a long ways. I have also been blessed to have had a beautiful little gal with my loving better half a couple years ago, and although extremely trying at times, she has had a funny way of helping with the “being in the present/now”.

Among the thousands of gifts my daughter has bestowed upon me during her initial 2 years, the pure joy that can be had in every second of everyday is one of the best. I understand why this changes as you age, as you do have to plan for the future in order to get anywhere in life, but as adults (I use that term extremely lightly with respect to myself) I am beginning to think that the pendulum swings a little too far. Or in my case anyway, it has. This constant gaze into the future is beneficial in the short term to improve productivity and performance, but when you are constantly staring into the telescope you do not experience what is going on around you, and that becomes extremely detrimental to you long term. The same can be said about always dwelling on shit that has happened. You need to briefly look at it, digest it like a piece of bread eaten by someone that suffers from Colitis, take the lessons that can be learned, and move fuck on. No matter how hard you sit there and think about something that has happened, you sure as shit can not call up Doc, jump in your Delorion, and Michael J. Fox the results into something other than what they are.

Another key item that has come out of the closet thus far, is the pretty emotional reaction/response to things that I sometime have. Hey, I am an emotional fella, through and through, but that is no reason to fly off the handle (internally or externally). Quite often it is not warranted when you take a few steps back and see the entire picture, and eventually just creates undo hardship for yourself and those around you. Now this fella/item seems as though it is going to take a little more unpacking, as there are many different reasons why it happens. Wether it be something that I hold dear to my heart that is being threatened in some fashion, I have too much stress in my life and my cup is start to slop all over, or I have not clearly communicated something and the end result is something that is tap dancing on my nerves like the SOB from River Dance. Whatever the root cause, the results are all the same and are typically not beneficial in anyway, shape, or form. As far as sorting this action out, it was brought to my attention that there are “primary emotions”  and “secondary emotions.” The secondary emotions are a result of me not dealing with the primary ones. Fail Johnson:) Good news? That means if I address the primary emotions, good fucking bye secondary emotions! And by cruising through a couple examples with the brains of the operation (Therapist) it became very apparent that I am quite often in control of the situations that start the ball rolling. And ultimately I have complete control over how I react to things. Although sometimes that is like trying to jump on a bullet train as it is speeding by. With that being said, I am working on my foot speed and getting better at catching that sucker:) 

So, as always, it is best to be proactive rather than reactive. Deal yourself a sweet ass hand, rather than play the hand some crappy dealer has dealt, per se. I believe you do this by building strong relationships in your life, both personal and professional. Be humble in those relationships and as open as you possibly can. If it borders on you feeling uncomfortable with the conversation, it is probably the right thing to be chatting about. (Aside from the obvious HR nightmares people:) We as humans were not designed to go at this world and life alone. We are meant to be part of the bigger picture. To interact with each other and connect. To feel love, hate, sadness, and joy. To share those emotions with all those around us. To bring value and give back to the greater good. In order to do that we must foster and constantly build on those relationships in our lives with the understanding that it is ultimately our responsibility to do that. We can always ask for help, but also need to eventually take the first steps, and those afterwards ourselves. 
Meeting with a Phycologist has been great. She challenges me with tough questions that require some gut checking on my behalf to answer. I have no doubt that answering these questions and then analyzing them is going to make things better in all aspects of my life.

I will end with this video. A little off the cuff, but it carries a ton of weight with a profound message. I had the opportunity to be part of a life changing seminar/experience recently, and this was one of the videos that was shown during it. I wanted to share it as it touched me. Not that I am a Veteran, or feel that I have any inkling of what being in a combat situation is like, but I feel that you can draw plenty of parallels to life general.

Until the next sesh,

AJ